My Hearts desire....

As we grow up we always have these ideas of what we want from life and what we want to do in life. Some people call them goals. I have definitely set a lot of goals in my life and as I am getting older I am realizing that not only are these goals in my life but they are my "hearts desire". Because of my relationship with the Lord I know these desires that he has places in my life are also the callings in my life.

When I was younger I had a burden on my heart for missions, or at that point I thought it was missions. I was given the opportunity to take several missions trips over the years, and I always had an amazing time and met wonderful people and my life was blessed by the trip. But looking back on those trips I remember the faces of kids.. the little boys & girls that I would meet. I remember how my heart would almost jump out of my chest when we had the chance to work with them and help them.

Several years later I found myself in a position that I had not been in before & need a job fast. The church I was attending gave me a position as an intern for the summer. I was placed in the children's ministry department and was SO upset. I did not want to work with the small children. I wanted to work with the youth. I really had no choice at this point and I needed the job. The church had recently hired a new Children's Minister. I was working under her for the summer and was just not sure I would be able to handle all the little children and VBS & Children's camp...ect. Little did I know that this summer would change my life.

Fast forward.... I thought after that summer that I would want to be a Children's Minister ( & to be quite honest there is still a pull in my heart for that) but the woman that I worked with really encouraged me to seek a route that had something to do with children. She gave me a few suggestions on the ways I could go. It only made since that because I had several teachers in my family that I go to school to be a teacher. Sitting here now I can vividly remember sitting with advisor during my college years telling her that I DID NOT want to be a teacher that I was going to school to get a degree but I wanted to work in ministry. I didn't realize that I was so busy planning my life that I was missing out on the '"desires that God had really placed in my heart.

I am slowly buy surely realizing that everything that has happened in my life is leading me to where I am now and God has placed these strong desires in my heart to be who He created me to be.

God has placed a huge desire in my heart to be a teacher. I now see that the mission trips where my heart was bursting for those kids and the fact that God placed me in children's ministry and I ended up with a degree in teaching was all part of the plan. I have had the opportunity to work in a school for the past two years as part of their Title One team working on reading, writing and spelling. Although young kids can be a lot of work I was excited everyday to get to see them and work with them. I am constantly online looking for new ideas that I can use in my own classroom. I am trying my best to be patient as I wait for God to open the right door for me and providing me with my own classroom. This is something I struggle with because it's hard to be patient and wait. There are times I feel like I am being looked over for jobs that I apply for and i just have to keep reminding myself that there is a perfect place for me and God will open the right door for me when it is the right time.

I am thankful for all the things that the Lord has allowed me to do in my lifetime. I guess that I am becoming nostalgic as I am approaching my 25th birthday. I am realizing that things didn't just happen... I was allowed to be where I have been and do what I have done, and I am thankful.